How to talk about money with your partner

My personal philosophy is, you can't truly have a great relationship until an agreement about money has been made. Money can be difficult to discuss because it may represent security, love, power, control, or fear. And you may not agree with your partner's opinions or what money represents.

Here are some tips for bringing up the subject of money with your partner:

1) First, know where you stand. For example, if you are accustomed to being independent with your money and prefer to keep separate bank accounts, be upfront about it. Maybe you feel more secure with sharing an account so that financial records are transparent.

2) Begin a conversation with your partner about your life's values. Truly, financial planning is all about values. We all know that we ought to spend less than we earn, but if we don't define our values, our spending may not align as we'd like for them to. There is a difference between goals and values, however. For example, I would like to take a trip to Europe. This is a goal. Maybe I value leisure time. This goal and value align, but consider this example: Maybe it's my goal to buy a ferrari, but I value family time. I could possibly afford the ferrari, but I'd have to work extra hours at work to afford it. In this case, I would miss out on family time, which is what I truly value.

3) Choose a neutral time to discuss financial goals and ideals: The heat of an argument is usually not the best time to bring up financial issues.

4) Applicable in any circumstance is compromise. If you both value your relationship, you must be willing to negotiate. And it may be feasible to sort out these issues independently, but it may also help to bring in a third party. Choose what feels comfortable for you as a couple.

With some work, compromise, and genuine communication, you can certainly learn to to deal with financial issues, and you may even grow closer with your partner.