A break from the usual

This is my middle finger to the wedding industry.

By reading the first sentence, you might assume that I'm a bitter, cynical, single woman who can't keep a decent relationship and have had my heart broken time and time again. And you'd be wrong. I'm actually engaged. Yup, I've been with my sweetheart for more than 5 years, and we're getting married in September.

So why the hatred towards the wedding industry?

In my quest towards the most authentic wedding in which I feel most myself, I have hit so many speed bumps along the way, and the obstacle that I constantly face in the wedding industry. Every once in a while, I wander to theknot.com, and then I wonder where my sanity has gone.

There are all kinds of questions posted by users like, "Is it ok if the flowers from my reception don't match the flowers at my ceremony?" Of course, it's flippin ok! It's YOUR wedding.

Thanks to happily ever after, Macy's, and Martha Stewart, family and friends are convinced that I NEED a cake stand, that I NEED to register for gifts, that I NEED to invite a bunch of relatives that I wouldn't recognize if I passed them on the street.

The truth is, I'm painfully practical. I'm the type of girl who enjoys trash-picking because it's more economical and helps the environment. I'm the type of girl who will purposefully chooses a certain color palate for clothing so that each garment will go together. I'm also the type of girl who clips coupons, goes to yard sales, reuses aluminum foil, washes ziploc bags, hangs up laundry to dry, and cuts her own hair as well as her partner's.

If you're thinking, this lady is cheap, yeah, you're right. But that's not what it's all about.

I have zero interest in registering for gifts--in fact, I would rather folks donate money to charity. You know what happened when I suggested that? Friends and family got angry. Take a guess at the reaction I received when I told my family and friends that my fiance and I are going to volunteer for a cause we care deeply about for our honeymoon. They all tried to talk us out of it, but the truth is, we didn't have the money to plunk down on a cruise or Hawaiian vacation.

When it comes down to it, all that matters is the connection, the community, and then fun that you have on your wedding day. It is not a show or a demonstration. Just because it's your wedding day does not mean that you have to do everything differently: wear a big poofy dress, eat fancy food that you can't pronounce, use ornately decorated china, parade your friends around in matching outfits, expect everyone to be at your beckon call, and spend $4 on each calligraphied piece of paper you call an invitation.

Whew! I feel better!